"Hey, I've found a way to know how you're doing!" my friend Marinka declared on voice chat. We just landed our evil inquisitor duo on Balmorra. "Oh?" I knew she meant 'without asking you'. I always know what she means. "Yeah, it's easy:" she continued, "if you don't blog for a while, things are obviously not well."
She was right. But she also was not right. Indeed, my health has been below average the past weeks. I started a new treatment that is supposed to help me get rid of my extreme dysmenorroe; instead, I now suffer from chronic abdominal pain. Since pain devours energy, I'm so tired in the early afternoon that I can forget about anything involving some form of thinking. I'm enduring it, though, in the hope my body will adapt and things will get better. I'm running out of medical options.
On top of this, Conrad has started a new job. I'm really happy for him: it's a good job, he has a fun team and is learning a ton. It does mean I'm spending more time doing chores, though, and it takes its toll on my energy reserve. We also both need to get used to a new day rythm.
Nevertheless, I wouldn't describe the last couple of weeks as bad. Somehow I've managed to keep my spirits up and I've made progress on a tough assignment for my studies. I'm satisfied with what I've done, seeing the circumstances.
And that's the thing. My studies and my blogging schedule are in an infinite struggle for my attention. I would be lying if I'd say my studies has never suffered from my urge to write blog posts, but in the end, blogging goes on 3 and studies on 2 (after my health, which gets spot 1; without health I can do neither).
Looking back at my gaps in my blogging schedule, there are two main causes for them:
1) I'm not doing well mentally.
The large gap from April to December 2014 is an example of this. After being diagnosed with my neural disorder in 2013 and desperately trying to keep studying, blogging and trying to live my life as I used to (which turned out to be impossible) made me collapse eventually one year later. I needed to find a new way to sort my life and come to terms with the fact that I would never be able to do some things I love anymore. My first, deep depression turned to be incompatible with blogging. I needed to let everything go and start from scratch.
2) I'm spending all my energy on my studies.
This is the more positive cause for a fail of blogging schedule. Sometimes my studies ask a lot of energy, and there is simply nothing left for other activities. This is especially the case when my health is in a poor state and reduces my available energy. Although there is the lurking danger of mental exhaustion (I don't get out to do fun things with friends in these periods), I at least feel good because I'm able to make some real progress on my studies.
Not making my blog schedule (or, at times I did not have one, just not posting in a long while) can make me feel bad and cause stress - typically on moments you can use it the least. The good thing is that understanding the mechanisms behind it puts things into perspective and makes me come to terms with it. It's kind of "do it yourself psychology", but it serves me well when under pressure.
What are the main causes for gaps in your blogging frequency? What activities compete with blogging?