ABC2: Disturbing dreams

Hi there, dear diary, this is Ravanel speaking. You know, me, the wise lore-master from Lothlórien. Or so I used to believe.

The truth is, I'm not so sure anymore. You see, I'm getting old, very old. In my childhood, the Golden Wood of Lothlórien was still a wood like many others. I grew up there. I saw Middle-earth take shape in thousands of years. People came and went. So much has happened.

A dear old halfling in Rivendell once told me he was feeling thin, almost stretched. I think I know how he feels, but I cannot help to feel there's also something different going on. I've been having these strange surreal dreams lately. Since about a year, or two. I'm not sure.

Sometimes in these dreams, I wear two braids. I am not an Elf, but my skin is light and my hair blonde as usual. I'm not in Middle-earth, the world around me is called 'Skyrim'. When I'm in this dream Skyrim feels as my home, it feels as real to me as Middle-earth does. I have amazing powers, comparable to that of the Valar themselves. For instance, I can sprout lightning or fire out of my fingertips. Burning Embers is totally getting out of hand. But this is normal. There are more 'mages' in this world, although they are frowned upon by ordinary people. There are also Elves, but they have nothing to do with the true Elves. Many of them are thieves. Can you believe it? Thieves!

Luckily, I haven't had these Skyrim-dreams for a while now.

More often, I get teleported into a totally strange and futuristic world. In this world there are no Elves. My hair is tied into a weird bolt in my neck, and my eyes are large. A popular weapon is the 'lightsaber', some sort of glowing sword with devastating power. I wield one too, radiating with a green light. I spend a lot of time healing other people with a power drawn from something called 'the force'. Like I do as a lore-master, but at a much larger scale. I'm at least as effective as a good minstrel. I also take interest in plants and other organisms, just like I do in Middle-earth. But it's not really me, or is it?

Lately, my normal life in Middle-earth has disappeared in favor of my dreams. I spend almost all my time in the weird place with lightsabers and the force. I have heard of how wiser Elves than I have been brought visions of a twisted reality, sometimes telling the future. Is the same happening to me? How do I know what is real and what is not?

I cannot talk to anyone else about this, for they would call me insane, and perhaps with reason so. But at least I now have this diary to write down my thoughts. I plan to spend 30 days investigating the present, the past and the future. Perhaps all I need is some time to think and make sense out of this mess.

In June, 'the other Ravanel' takes over Ravalation to ponder about her life as an avatar in the light of the Avatar Blogger Challenge (ABC). This is her introductory post.