A while ago, I wrote a blog post about playing PvP on a stream with Traitine and Shintar. In it, I admitted that it was a small personal victory, because I was scared at the prospect of being recorded. Rakuno wrote a blog post in response called Why I don't like voice chat and one of the many comments both posts sprouted forms the base of this one.
I was never afraid of typing to other people in MMOs; thank internet anonymity for that. When you are playing an MMO, you see everyone through their avatar. You don't know the gender, background and beliefs of the people behind the characters you encounter, and as a result are less biased. This all changes when you start talking to people using your (real) voice. In this article, my confidence is the subject and the use of voice chat the method of measurement.
When I was new to MMOs, I was terrified of joining
people on voice chat. I started playing Lord of the Rings Online all by
myself and didn't know anyone else who played. At first I didn't even know people
used third party software to speak to each other. My first contact with
the phenomenon was through the built-in voice chat that LOTRO has. It
was mostly used in the Ettenmoors, but also in group instances.
It didn't help that I was
a girl. Back in 2007 that was still regarded as somewhat of a oddity (luckily this is really not the case anymore in the games I
play). Everyone assumed I was a dude when they met me, which I didn't bother correcting when playing with complete strangers. Only when I joined voice chat they would find out their assumption was wrong. Luckily I can only remember one case where I encountered a
level of discrimination because of it (but that's a topic for another day).
We fast forward a few years. I'm an officer in a small social kinship. Voice chat makes doing group instances a lot easier (not to say a lot more successful in half the playtime) and being one of the few people with some tactical insight, I force myself to lead groups on voice chat. This is where I find out that being in charge gives me a lot of stress: I hate every moment of it. But a lot of our members are pretty clueless when it comes to group play and runs are a disaster without someone to step up with a plan. I feel extremely uncomfortable when leading instances, but at least we get stuff done.
Again a few years later. The, already very casual, social kinship has become inactive due to people leaving for other games, or giving up on gaming entirely. I have joined a kinship that does raids and voice chat is the default. I'm mostly quiet and listen when the raid leader explains stuff. I will only say something when asked (usually along the lines of: Rav, can you CC this and that mob?). Sometimes I will propose a tactic that has to do with my class' capabilities.
Now to the present. I play Star Wars: the Old Republic and if you'd ask my guildies (still the same ones as in the LOTRO raiding kinship) they will probably tell you I'm quite chatty on voice chat. I feel comfortable doing so, too. In retrospect, I think two things have contributed to that:
We fast forward a few years. I'm an officer in a small social kinship. Voice chat makes doing group instances a lot easier (not to say a lot more successful in half the playtime) and being one of the few people with some tactical insight, I force myself to lead groups on voice chat. This is where I find out that being in charge gives me a lot of stress: I hate every moment of it. But a lot of our members are pretty clueless when it comes to group play and runs are a disaster without someone to step up with a plan. I feel extremely uncomfortable when leading instances, but at least we get stuff done.
Again a few years later. The, already very casual, social kinship has become inactive due to people leaving for other games, or giving up on gaming entirely. I have joined a kinship that does raids and voice chat is the default. I'm mostly quiet and listen when the raid leader explains stuff. I will only say something when asked (usually along the lines of: Rav, can you CC this and that mob?). Sometimes I will propose a tactic that has to do with my class' capabilities.
Now to the present. I play Star Wars: the Old Republic and if you'd ask my guildies (still the same ones as in the LOTRO raiding kinship) they will probably tell you I'm quite chatty on voice chat. I feel comfortable doing so, too. In retrospect, I think two things have contributed to that:
1) I'm a better gamer. A lot of my shyness was due to insecurity. I was afraid of messing up, causing us to wipe, saying something stupid and getting laughed at. By now I've played with others so much, both failed and succeeded challenges, that I've come to assess my own play compared to others. I've learned that it's unlikely that it'll be me that wipes the group. (And if I incidentally do, I'll be the first to admit it. Nothing stalls progress as much as people hiding what went wrong.) It doesn't matter if I play with people I know or not. I know my worth.
2) I've become part of a group of wonderful people, my guild and gamer family. We played together for so many years, first in LOTRO and now in SWTOR. We know each other's personal quirks, our strengths and weaknesses. It's not about being the best or showing how good you are, it's about team play and getting there together. In our group, we truly feel as equals. They have become my friends as much as my real life friends, so I feel absolutely comfortable chatting to them on voice chat. I couldn't be happier!
Do you feel comfortable when playing with others? Did gaming make you more confident?
I feel pretty confident and competent in games, but I still fear the voice chat. It's like a mini-panic attack just attempting it for me. D:>
ReplyDeleteI think my issue comes with time. It takes me a while feeling comfortable before I open up.
*hugs* I recognize that (although probably in a weaker form) from when I was new to MMOs. Getting to know people well also was really helpful for me. It did take me 9 years, if that makes you feel any better.
DeleteThanks, Rav. :)
DeleteHaha, it kind of does. It's nice to know of some other people that takes time to warm up to others also.
And I just realized your bird icon at the top is your orokeet, specifically the exact pose in your latest 6 on 6. I thought it was a chocobo from Final Fantasy. :P
You've discovered my secret! Yes, it's the very same orokeet as on the picture. Indeed I photoshopped it out of the screenshot when I was making the icon. You're not the first I hear of that thought it's a chocobo, and I don't even play Final Fantasy! In fact, I'm pretty sure orokeets existed before those darn chocobos. I can only conclude that orokeets are severely underrated. *pats orokeet comfortingly*
DeleteMy dislike of voice chat has absolutely nothing to do with confidence or anxiety. As a "balanced" personality in Extrovert/Introvert tests I neither crave nor fear social interaction. I can take it or leave it based entirely on the circumstances. I also have zero problems with public speaking - indeed i quite enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteNo, my problem with voice chat in MMOs is based on immersion and entertainment value. I like to think and act in character when I play but I don't roleplay. It's easy to do that in text but almost impossible in voice. I am not going to put on a lisp and a funny accent to play an Asura, or claim repeatedly that I'm a pirate, if I have to say it out loud in my own voice!
Equally, when I look at the screen I see strange races and creatures, not other players. I often have most of the channels used for ooc closed and I will and do block anyone talking about real-life stuff. I come to MMOs to enter an imaginary world that isn't this one and that's a lot harder when my room at home is filled with ordinary people talking in ordinary voices.
I do sometimes use voice chat for the non-immersive parts of the games such as structured competitive matchplay but there I have the different problem that I find all the instructions and strategies quite hard to follow. My in-game performance tends to degrade in direct proportion to how much information I am being asked to process aurally.
There was a lot of talk at one time about "voice masks" that would make everyone in voice chat sound like their characters looked. I spent hours looking into it and downloading stuff but none of it worked well. If they ever get that working properly then I would be a lot more interested in communicating by voice while I game.
Wow, that's a hardcore immersion-heavy play style! I do see the appeal, and indeed I used to play like that as well when I started playing MMOs. Getting to know others with the same interests and coordinating play have become things I've become very fond of, though. After a while, questing and enjoying the environment become taken for granted (even if I don't want this to happen) and ultimately starts to bore me. Often, this is where contact with others keeps me engaged with a game.
DeleteContrary to how it may sound above, I count myself above average when it comes to being a sucker for immersion (although you, of course, win!). Although it is not the main thing that keeps me involved with an MMO, I do love to smell the roses and look at the details around me, as the many screenshots on this blog attest to. It was also very obvious from the way I reacted when trying out virtual reality with a bunch of gamer friends - but that's another story.
I think that I spend a maximum of 30% of my game time like you do (although in less extreme solitude - I don't necessarily turn game chat off): when I'm soloing (usually during breakfast), of when I'm doing quests with Conrad in LOTRO. During the latter, we read aloud quest text to each other in voices that we seem fit. It's a lot slower, but also a lot of fun!
I had never heard of voice masks before, but as you may expect from the above, it sounds awesome to me! Even though I don't roleplay (seriously), it would give flavour to team play. It sounds absolutely brilliant! I'm with you there hoping it'll some day become technically possible.
Something I didn't mention in my post but it tends to take me quite a while to warm up and open to new people. Until I do I tend to be very quiet and just answer when prompted in real life. Although I am the quiet type so people probably don't even notice the difference. -_-
ReplyDeleteIn games that tend to be the same too, even in voice chat. Although there is also an issue of confidence if I am doing group content with strangers. Because if things go wrong I keep wondering if the fault isn't mine and if I couldn't be doing something better or if I am doing something wrong.
With friends I don't tend to question my abilities as much, only things are going horribly, horribly wrong. Then I tend to go almost obsessive and go researching what other people of the same class are using in terms of character build and gear.
As for voice chat I think I said pretty much everything that I could say on the subject but mini-panic attack, like Roger said, sounds like a pretty good sum up of the situation for me too.
I think that was the problem with that stream for me as well: not being used to talking to them in real time (even though I did know both through blogging and Twitter) and then being recorded right away! Like you, it does take me a while to warm up to people. Although it seems to be much easier when typing as opposed to talking, like I do on this blog.
DeleteAnd although it sucks to feel insecure about yourself when a tactic in-game goes wrong, I much, much prefer playing with people like you over those that assume they're awesome and never make a mistake: chances are they do make mistakes but don't learn from them because they don't perceive them as such.
That's so great that you're comfortable doing voice chat now! I'm definitely not, though my husband is. He takes the lead in our raiding pretty often and I totally admire him for being able to do that! I agree that having a group of people that you really like and enjoy talking to helps, since I'm okay with voice chatting with people I know when I'm gaming. So great that your confidence as a gamer has grown, I think that's awesome!
ReplyDeleteConrad is like that as well! He leads raids (and our guild) and chats away at an extent that people say things like "It's so quiet!" "Yeah, Conrad's AFK." I'm more like you, in that regard.
DeleteIt's not like I'm an extreme extrovert now, but at least I don't feel totally stressed and uncomfortable anymore when I join others on voice chat. Thank you for your kind words. :)
I skew a little more in the Bhagpuss direction, though not as extreme. The main thing for me is that I prefer keeping real life and game lives separate, and the more immersive the game life the better.
ReplyDeleteThe moment voice chat comes into play, two things happen. One, that real life bias comes in - maybe it's gender, maybe it's age, maybe it's culture or accent, some people bring in real life discriminatory baggage into a game (subconsciously or otherwise) and it would have been far more peaceful, respectful and productive for said party to have projected an image they were comfortable with onto the other player.
Two, I become more conscious of the game "meta" and "game" very much more so than "world." Mostly because voice chat is used to communicate tactics or strategy. Gonna use X skill now. Y thing is about to happen, avoid it! I end up playing to "beat the game" rather than "savor the world." Which is all very well and satisfies a min-max achiever part of me, but the immersion-seeker in me gets grumpy about it.
I'd really love to see voice masking technology improved and done better, though there's still the issue of enough players being open to pretending to be someone else, rather than playing themselves in a suit of armor or in caster robes. I think it would be a minority, unfortunately, but boy, would it be fun if said communities could find each other and had the tech. Playing as a squad of stormtroopers, or Warhammer 40k space marines, or hearing the surly dwarf tell you he's got your back, etc.
Those are two really good points. I never realized that voice chat has changed the way I play MMOs, but you are right, it has. At first it was all about immersion for me, and I was in awe with the game. Then I slowly became aware of min-maxing, perfecting game play and the joy of doing this together with others - "beat the game", as you called it. Truth is, I enjoy both. Sometimes I don't want to have anyone around (both on voice chat and in my in-game party) and just experience the digital environment. I have a harder time enjoying the latter when I play a game for years and feel accustomed to it, though. Perhaps that's why I've become such a PvE raiding junkie as of late (even though I may not sound like one on this blog, no idea, I find a blog especially suited to express the immersive qualities of games through pretty screenies).
DeleteAw Rav, I'm so proud of you! I totally get you, when it comes to feeling someone intimidated by sharing your voice, in video games--especially as a female in a male dominant arena. Once they find out you are a woman, its like all hell is loose. I remember, when I started playing League of Legends, I used to be so scared of sharing my gender because once people found out I was a female, especially since I was newer to the game, they used to harass my lane to make me fall behind in levels. But you've come a long way! <3
ReplyDeleteI find having a group of friends to play games with and feeling skillful is really useful in making you more comfortable in video games. Because you're more powerful in numbers--so no one would dare bother or harass you and if they do, your friends make you feel better or stick up for you. Also, its actually pretty nice to be really good at the game, then have people realize you're a female and better than them. Its kind of like a reality check--and I find it hilarious sometimes :P
I still remember you told me you named your LoL char JennibearXOXO or something of the likes, just to defy those short-sighted males. That gave me a good laugh. I also think it was a very brave and badass thing to do!
DeleteI've once made a guy ragequit from a parsing program because I consistently did double his healing with significantly worse gear in a raid. He didn't login to the parsing group for at least a month! (If this needs mentioning, I didn't say anything his numbers at all. I'm not that type of person. I genuinely thought he had just forgotten to put on the right gear or something. Turns out he had not.) We started our own guild and we have no contact anymore, but I hope that give him the reality check he apparently desperately needed.
I was the same. Even now, I am hesitant to speak in new groups, but I come around. I managed to become an officer in a progression raiding guild without saying anything, but then it became expected that I talk. Still made me nervous.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea about that side of you! Being an officer in the first place scares the hell out of me, so I know where you're coming from. I hope it'll get better for you in time, too.
DeleteI have never been a big fan of voice chat. Over the years I have had too many experiences of either being discriminated against because of my gender, or receiving a bunch of unwanted attention and hassle when people find out I am a chick. I would much rather stay anonymous in games.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that. I suspect it depends a lot on what games you play. MMOs (or at least the ones I play) have become more supportive the past years, with more and more women playing them. Or I've been in luck and have been hanging out with the right crowd lately. I'd be interested to hear when / in what games your bad experiences took place, if you happen to read this. It's easy to forget there's still a long road ahead when it comes to video games.
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